Why I Miss the Mona Vaginas

A while back, Mona featured an exhibit by Greg Taylor called “Cunts and Other Conversations”. I don’t know why, but I assumed a female artist had put the pussies together. It felt like a feminist endeavor: “I am woman! Look at my labia!” The vaginas have vanished from Mona, but there is currently a similar piece at the Triennale Design Museum in Milan called “The Great Wall of Vagina” by Jamie McCartney. On McCartney’s website, he boasts that he is: “Changing female body image through art.” What the fuck? Why is that a man’s job even in the art world? In the porn world, fine. But art is supposed to be the great equalizer. Guess not.

Anyway, I liked the cunts at Mona, because usually penises get all the glory. Dicks are everywhere! Have you ever seen anyone draw a vagina on someone’s car? Admittedly, it’s a harder shape to draw- the penis is simpler, but maybe if we saw more pictures of cunts floating around, there wouldn’t be so much pussy shame amongst women. Let’s face it: a lot of guys are damn proud of their dicks. No matter how drunk I’ve gotten at a party, I’ve never brought my vagina out just to lighten the mood.

There’s a lot more controversy about the aesthetic of the vadge. The only downfall of the dick is that is can be too small, but pussies can be too brown, too hairy, too floppy, too shrively. As women, we don’t get the opportunity to go around comparing our vaginas to one another. We can compare to the odd pornstar, but come on, I bet a lot of guys know what their friends’ weiners look like. I actually don’t think I’ve seen ANY of my friends’ vaginas! My best friend has seen mine once by accident, but that’s it.

When I saw the cunt wall at Mona, I slowly trailed behind my friends and closely examined each one. I wish I could have gotten some alone time with the Vs, because I felt judged for staring at them for so long. I’m sure my friends began to think: “Come on! Why is Ruthie stuck on the vaginas?!” Well, I was trying to find my twat twin. The cunt wall didn’t necessarily “empower” me, so I don’t think Jamie McCartney should go that far. It’s especially NOT empowering when there are people surrounding the vaginas, snickering. Do you even know how many penises I’ve had to look at in art exhibits? More than you can shake a stick at! And the amount of people who I’ve heard say that they are “concerned” about their children seeing the cunt wall surprises me. Your kid came OUT of your vagina, and you don’t want him/her to look at them?

Anyway, while not empowered, I was slightly comforted by the sight of all the vaginas. You don’t hear people talk about pussies much these days unless it’s to say something overtly pornographic or completely clinical. Lana Del Rey recently released a song called “Cola”, in which she claims her “Pussy tastes like Pepsi Cola”. If that’s the case, then my shit tastes like Skittles. She said that her boyfriend, Barrie-James O’Neill, told her this. My boyfriend told me that my pussy looks like the alien from Alien and Predator. Not something I necessarily wanna sing about it, but I’ll laugh about it, and I’ll share it with the Mona blog community. Because I believe that if you get to a point with someone where they’re looking at your vagina, if they lose interest in you because of the aesthetic of your cunt, then they are probably an asshole. Alright, I feel that I have sufficiently named every part of the “below the belt” region. But yes, to all artists reading this: show me more vaginas, please.

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